Welcome back to Bellivision House Blogs, we are now halfway through March and 5 days until Spring!
We ended our last blog with this:
But how can we build integrity and accountability in children? How can we make kids want to do the right thing, even when no one is watching?
Promoting and practicing integrity and accountability in the household is key.
Like I’ve said before, children live what they learn.
If the parents, guardians, or other adults in their life practice integrity and accountability then it signals the child that this is appropriate, welcoming behaviour. We also need to be aware of how we display Integrity and accountability in the child’s environment.
Here are key examples:
Number one in my book is to say what you mean and mean what you say. You want to avoid the do as I say, and not as I do experience. If you want to encourage honesty (or any other trait) in your child, then make sure you are also practicing that trait. This is not only when you are dealing with your child alone, this is in all aspects of the home. Children are very aware of what is going on in their environment. Assume they see and hear everything.
Practice makes perfect, well almost perfect. Just like any other trait, we need to practice in order to get better. Practice as a family, open up communication on the topic. See how your child or children feel when someone is not kind or does not take responsibility when they did something wrong. Tell them your stories of accountability. Children benefit from seeing their parents as relatable kids who also got into trouble. Telling them that we made mistakes breaks down that perfectionism ideology. Which leads perfectly to my next point.
Let your kids know that grown-ups make mistakes and that adults are not perfect. Children who see adults owning their mistakes, accepting the outcome, and still displaying self-kindness leads to a non-shameful, accountable household.
A lot of kids, mine included, do not want to be accountable due to the fear of getting in trouble. But having fair and safe consequences is an important factor of accountability. This is where integrity and accountability intertwine. A key component of integrity is honesty. We want our kids to be honest when they do something wrong, and then be accountable for those actions.
This is not something that will happen overnight. This is a skill that takes time and practice. But encouragement and self-compassion will go a long way for yourself and your little ones.
Take care and thanks for reading!
Bellivision House Team
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